Thought Replacement (part one)

Hello beloved child of God, I hope you’re fine by God’s grace.

We’re continuing with the topic of Depression. As we previously said, when you feel bad about a specific event, that negative feeling is generally linked to what you are thinking at that moment. Your thoughts influence how you feel.

If you’re depressed, then you’ve got to look into your mind and ask yourself what are your thoughts.

We also talked about putting your thoughts on trial, because not every thought comes from God. Some thoughts are just poisonous and inspired by the devil. Some thoughts are just due to you not renewing your mind.

Philippians 4:4‭, ‬6‭-‬8 NIV

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Once you’ve put a thought on trial, and realized that it doesn’t glorify God and it just creates misery in you, you can consider the though to be guilty.

Nevertheless, what do you do once you realize that a thought shouldn’t stay in your mind? Do you focus on not thinking about it or do you replace it?

If you focus on not thinking about it you’ll think about it even more.

For example if I tell you right now “Don’t think about a cat” what will you do? You’ll immediately think about a cat.

Right now you’re probably thinking about a cat.

My point is, the best way to fight a thought which you don’t want in your mind is not to say “I don’t want to think about this”. The best method is to replace and rehabilitate your thought.

There are several methods through which you can do this, and we’re starting with the first one today. I got those methods from the Anxiety and Depression Workbook for dummies.

The first method is called “Getting A Little Help From A Friend”

Let me explain.

I tend to be harder on myself than on anyone else. I think perfectionists do that often. I don’t know if you’re a perfectionist but perhaps you do that too.

When I mess up, or when I’m going through something hard, I tend to be hard on myself, but if someone else came to me and told me the same story as my own story, I wouldn’t be that hard on them.

I would tell this person “God loves you, it’s going to be alright, you can trust God on this. God’s going to help you get better. God’s going to fix you. You are not your mistakes”

Knowing perfectly well that when it’s me I’m so hard on myself with negative self-talk like “How could I do that, I’m such a failure.”

What I mean is, when you’re talking to a friend (and not to yourself) you’re more rational, more compassionate and more likely to tell them the truth of The Bible, how God really sees them, instead of just voicing out every negative thought in your mind.

So, for this method, you have to imagine that a good friend of yours is going through exactly the same problem as you, and this friend has the same kind of thoughts as you have, and this friend reaches out to you.

Now look at your friend’s problem from a honest and Biblical viewpoint and write down what you would tell them.

Now read it back and apply your advice to yourself.

Example: Getting A Little Help From A Friend

Antony is a 26 years man. He is extremely annoyed and sad because he’s in a phase where he is almost always arguing with his wife. They just can’t seem to get along. She’s pregnant and her mood changes all the time. At one moment she’s happy and playing with him, at another moment she’s angry, and afterwards crying. Moreover, when they meet with their counselor, she is constantly complaining about the fact that she is unhappy, sad and feeling unsupported. When she’s with her friends and colleagues she seems to have a lot of fun. Actually, she seems to get along well with everyone except with him. He starts to believe that he’s the problem, that he’s not a good husband, that his wife doesn’t love him anymore and that perhaps he married the wrong person.

Antony’s main depressive thought: “I’m the problem in this relationship, I’m not a good husband, my wife doesn’t love me anymore and perhaps I married the wrong person. Our relationship will never be the same again. It’s just going to get worse”

The first thing to do is to put this thought on trial. You can get back to the previous posts onhow to put a thought on trial.

Once he has put his thought on trial and charged it guilty, he can now get to replacing the thought.

He will use the method “Getting a little help from a friend”.

Antony now imagines that he has a good friend Paul who’s going through the same situation and who’s coming to him in tears for advice. Here’s what he tells him.

You know, every couple argues from time to time. The problem isn’t the fact that they argue, but how they argue and how they resolve it and reconcile afterwards. The most important thing is that you keep showing love to each other and that you reconcile quickly. Also, your wife is pregnant, that’s how it is with hormones and mood swings during pregnancy. Please just understand that it’s not intentional, and that what matters most is the fact that God has blessed you with a baby. Focus more on the joy of the upcoming birth, than on the little afflictions of the present time. Your wife is going through biological changes, and it’s probably awkward for her too. It’s not against you, it’s just that her body’s changing. It’s normal that she has a lot of fun with others because they don’t spend enough time with her to see her go through her mood swings. You get to experience that because you’re her husband and you spend more time with her than anyone else. It’s not against you. Just keep loving her and praying for her. Just try to be patient. Don’t try to read her mind by believing that she doesn’t love you. Just show love to her and trust God to make her notice and show love to you too. Her mood swings don’t make you to be a bad husband, and they don’t disqualify her from being God’s choice for you. It’s just a phase, and once the baby will be born she should get back to normal state. Don’t take it too personally.

Now that Antony has done this exercise, he realizes that the advice which would work for a friend would work for him.

Now, he can summarize all this into a single replacement thought.

My wife’s pregnancy mood swings don’t change her love for me, nor my love for her. They don’t disqualify us from the loving marriage God intends for us. I don’t have to take it personally. It’s just a phase and while waiting I can pray, love and expect our baby with excitement.

Now, his negative thought is replaced, and every time it tries to come back, he can remember this replacement thought.

Exercise : Replace Your Negative Thoughts

1. Track your thought and write down one of your most malicious thoughts

2. Put that thought on trial

3. Imagine a good friend of yours faces the same situation as you and has the same most depressing thought as you and comes to you for advice

4. Write down the honest Biblical advice you would give them

5. Read it to yourself

6. Write down a summary replacement thought

7. Replace that depressing thought every time it comes back

Prayer

Father Lord God Almighty, help me show love and support to myself as I would show love and support to my neighbor, in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.

It’s Now Your Turn

Don’t forget to do your homework.

If you have any question about this, please share in the comments section.

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Invitation

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God bless you

Victoria Eyog