Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?1 Corinthians 7:12‭-‬13‭, ‬16 NLT

Hello beloved child of God, I hope you’re fine by God’s grace. As for me, I’m doing good thanks to Him.
Last week we talked about 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Marry A non-Christian. In case you weren’t able to read it, you can read it here.
As you probably already know, Biblically speaking an “Unequally Yoked” marriage is a marriage where one person is a Christian, and the other one is a non-Christian, or a fake Christian.
To make it simple, it’s the type of union, where you’re not in phase spiritually.
For example:

  • You want your kids to study The Bible because you know it’s The Word of God, while your spouse wants your kids to study another book, from one of the religions of the world which doesn’t recognize Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. It could be the satanist “bible”, the book of Mormons, the Quran etc etc.
  • You want to go to Church to praise God, and your spouse refuses because they want you to stop with Christianity and to instead go with atheism, or satanism, or anything else so long as you don’t recognize Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Anyhow, these are a few examples of illustrating Unequal Yoking.
You know that you are equally yoked when you are a real Christian who married a real Christian.
By real Christian I mean someone who recognizes Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour, not just in their words but in their decisions, in their priorities, and who wants to raise your kids according to The Word of God, and who wants the salvation of your whole family.
No need to tell you that if your spouse in front of people says they believe in Christ but when they’re alone they go to practice African idolatry and witchcraft, or satanism, or any other occult practices, they are definitely not a true Christian and if you are a true Christian, then you are Unequally yoked.
It’s obviously not easy to survive in an unequally yoked marriage, because there’s a huge difference between both of you, and of course, your kids will be influenced by that one way or another.
Nevertheless, under the inspiration of The Holy Spirit, I want to present to you today 5 tips which should help you survive in an unequally yoked marriage.
Before proceeding, I want to say that this blog post is not intended for a Christian who is dating a non-Christian and who is saying ” I will go ahead and marry this non-Christian, and these tips will make it easy for me”
By marrying a non-Christian while you know that God clearly forbids it in The Bible, you are choosing willfully to disobey God. It is really inappropriate to intentionally disobey God and say “I’ll find a way for it to work, even though I am disobeying God”.
Choose to obey, don’t make the same mistake as some others did and regretted later. You know that you shouldn’t do it, so don’t do it. If you are a Christian and you’re dating a non-Christian or engaged with a non-Christian, I recommend that you end the relationship and that you keep praying for the person to be saved, but first end the relationship. This will protect you from a lot of hardship. This is what I think about it.
This blog post is intended for people who have already made this choice, who have already married non-Christians and who now need tips to survive in their unequally yoked marriage, or for people who married while they didn’t believe in Christ yet, but no they’re Christian while their spouse is not.
Here are the tips:

Tip N°1: Confess Your Sins To God

1 John 1:8‭-‬10 NLT

If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that His word has no place in our hearts.

The first thing to do is to lay aside your pride and confess your sins to God.
If you were already a Christian but chose to marry a non-Christian, you disobeyed God, and now you’re probably suffering the legitimate consequences of your decision.
The first step is to confess your sins to God.
There are people who are so proud that they say “I did it out of love so I’ll never confess it to God, I don’t consider it as a sin”
First of all, you are not the standard for Good and Bad, you don’t get to decide what’s a sin and what’s not a sin, God does, God is the standard. Also, He already said in His Word that you shouldn’t do it, which means that if you did it, it’s a sin. It doesn’t matter what were your reasons, or whether you consider it as a sin or not, it is a sin, and you’ve got to confess it to God.
By the way, doing something out of love doesn’t mean that it’s not a sin anymore. Samson had sex with Delilah out of wedlock and he revealed to her his secret covenant with God. Did he do all that out of love (and nagging)? Yes.
Was it a sin? Yes
Did he suffer the consequences for his sins? Yes.
Judges 16:4‭, ‬6‭-‬6‭, ‬17‭-‬21 NLT

Some time later Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah, who lived in the valley of Sorek. So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me what makes you so strong and what it would take to tie you up securely.” Finally, Samson shared his secret with her. “My hair has never been cut,” he confessed, “for I was dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as anyone else.” Delilah realized he had finally told her the truth, so she sent for the Philistine rulers. “Come back one more time,” she said, “for he has finally told me his secret.” So the Philistine rulers returned with the money in their hands. Delilah lulled Samson to sleep with his head in her lap, and then she called in a man to shave off the seven locks of his hair. In this way she began to bring him down, and his strength left him. Then she cried out, “Samson! The Philistines have come to capture you!” When he woke up, he thought, “I will do as before and shake myself free.” But he didn’t realize the Lord had left him. So the Philistines captured him and gouged out his eyes. They took him to Gaza, where he was bound with bronze chains and forced to grind grain in the prison.

If you got married while not being a Christian, but afterwards you came to Christ and got saved but your spouse isn’t saved yet, you’ve not sinned by marrying your spouse. You weren’t a Christian yet.
On the other hand, if you were a Christian and you deliberately sinned against God, you’ve got to sit yourself down and confess it all to Him. Restoration starts with confession.

Tip N°2 : Clothe Yourself With Christ


But clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for [nor even think about gratifying] the flesh in regard to its improper desires.

Ephesians 4:21‭-‬24 NLT

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from Him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

1 PETER 2:12 AMP

Keep your behavior excellent among the [unsaved] Gentiles [conduct yourself honorably, with graciousness and integrity], so that for whatever reason they may slander you as evildoers, yet by observing your good deeds they may [instead come to] glorify God in the day of visitation [when He looks upon them with mercy].

If you used to joke with Christianity, now you will have to take it seriously more than ever before.
To your spouse and your kids, you will be the one responsible for showing them who Jesus is.
Your spouse will probably refuse to read The Bible when you’ll ask them to read it, or will refuse to go to Church when you’ll ask them to go to Church with you. Or they’ll accept but they’ll remain skeptical.
You will be the one through whom Jesus may reveal Himself to them.
If you are always telling lies to your spouse, always yelling, insulting, nagging, going to shrines for witchcraft, this is what they’ll think that Christianity is, this is the opinion they’ll have about Jesus, and I doubt that this will ever push them to surrender their lives to Him.
Galatians 5:16‭-‬24 NLT

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.

On the other hand, if your spouse sees the fruits of The Holy Spirit demonstrated in your attitude, your speech, your life, he/she will ask himself/herself

  • What is this?”
  • “What is this Joy that I see in my spouse?”
  • “What is this peace that I see in my spouse?”
  • “How can I get this assurance that my spouse lives with?”

Such questions will stem up in the heart of your spouse and your spouse will get curious, because actually they will be seeing Jesus Christ through you, and they will be attracted.
This will be the opportunity that God will give to you to preach the Gospel to your spouse, to present Jesus to your spouse.
You will win them over to Christ through you clothing yourself with Christ.
However, if you are not different from them, if you’re exactly like your spouse, for example; going to witch doctors to cast spells, lying, cheating, stealing etc , if you’re exactly like them, (or behaving even worse) they’ll think that hypocrisy is Christianity, and you’ll not be able to bring them to Christ.
So it starts with you, not with changing your spouse. It starts with you. You make sure that you’re growing in your relationship with Jesus Christ, ask The Holy Spirit to fill you everyday, read your Bible everyday and obey The Word. Focus on letting God change you.
It is this change that your spouse will see and which will make your spouse’s heart melt for Jesus Christ.

Tip N° 3: Stop Harassing Your Spouse

Proverbs 27:15‭-‬16 MSG

A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet; You can’t turn it off, and you can’t get away from it.

Not everyone will be concerned by this, but there are some Christians who say “I’ll marry him/her and I’ll make him/her change”
They get married with a non-Christian or fake Christian, knowing this perfectly well but being convinced somehow that by insisting and harassing (nagging) long enough, they’ll get their spouse to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. They think that it’s their efforts which will convert their spouse, forgetting that it is The Holy Spirit who touches hearts.
When they get into marriage, they’re frustrated because years pass by but there’s still no change, while they fasted, prayed, and made all their prayer groups pray with them for years.
On the other hand, in this situation there are also people who became Christians after they had married a non-Christian. They are so eager to make their spouse discover Jesus, so they harass them day and night with The Bible, with sermons, with Christian music, with Christian books.
They feel frustrated because their spouse hasn’t accepted to give their life to Jesus yet.
If you’re in this case, please let me take the pressure off your shoulders.
More often than not, nagging (harassment) will not produce lasting change.
Calm down.
I know you’re trying to make use of every opportunity but your spouse is probably feeling overwhelmed by now, and I think you know how humans are. The more you harass a human being with something, the more this person wants holidays from this very thing.
May be God is telling you today to change your approach.
Instead of harassing your spouse to preach The Gospel to them, ask God to create opportunities.
You can make it simple.

  • When your spouse has a moment of doubt and pain, it is an opportunity to share a few Bible verses on the issue and to offer to pray for them
  • When your spouse is going through a crisis, it’s an opportunity to share a few Biblical resources with them and offer to pray for them

Make it sweet, without it being harassment.
Most of the testimonies I ever hear of , of Christians whose non-Christian spouse accepted Christ, it wasn’t through the harassment of their spouse, it was through their behaviour which reflected Christ so much so that their spouse got curious and got to learn more about Jesus.
I’m not saying that you should never invite your non-Christian spouse to Church, or that you should never propose to read The Bible together everyday, or that you should never share Bible verses or sermons with them, I’m just trying to get you not to harass them. Nagging will not work.

Tip N°4 Train Your Kids To Christianity


Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

A few years ago I was invited to the wedding of my tutor. I loved what the Pastor said on that day. I may not recall it exactly as she said it, but she said that when you marry someone you have to care for the person’s salvation status. “Is this person saved?”
If you really love someone, and you really understand what salvation is, you will not want the person you love to spend eternity in Hell.
In the same way, if you really love your children, you have to be concerned about their salvation status.
You want your kids to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, you want them to live according to what’s written in The Bible, you want them to persevere in the faith.
However, it may be that your non-Christian spouse is doing everything to initiate the kids to his/her religion, or atheism, or satanism etc.
You may not be able to openly oppose your spouse perhaps because in their religion they have the right to kill you if you oppose them, and you don’t want to risk to be killed while your children don’t know about Jesus yet.
Here is my suggestion. Take some time aside with your kids every day (in secret if necessary) to teach The Bible to them, to teach them about Jesus Christ and about salvation in Him. Tell them all they need to know in order to be saved, ask them if they want to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, lead them in prayer. Educate them according to God’s Word.
Don’t be lazy here, because these kids God gave them to you for soul-winning. Do your job.
Perhaps your spouse will try to force them into living a life against Jesus but if you’ve taught them already, they’ll make the right choices.
Some “Christians” marry non-Christians and say

  • “I’ll let my spouse decide, if he wants our children will be Muslims or Hindus or Atheists or Agnostics it’s fine whatsoever, all that is the same thing”
  • “When my kids will grow old they will decide for themselves”
  • “We will follow both religions, and do all the religious feasts”

Honestly if you’re the one saying such a thing it means that you’re not caring for the salvation status of your children, they can go to hell, to you it doesn’t matter, and this is not good.
You have to teach The Bible to your kids while they are still young, you have to show them the way to Christ while they are still young, so that they will not depart from it.
Also, if you say that you’ll participate in the Christian feasts and the religious feasts of your spouse, this is what it means:

  • If in their religious feasts they sacrifice animals to idols (demon spirits) you will take part in it
  • If in their religious feasts they curse Jesus Christ, you will take part in it
  • If their satanic feasts they draw the mark of the beast on your kids and sacrifice them, you will take part in it
  • If in their occultic feasts they worship skulls in shrines your kids will take part in it

1 Corinthians 10:14‭-‬22 NLT

So, my dear friends, flee from the worship of idols. You are reasonable people. Decide for yourselves if what I am saying is true. When we bless the cup at the Lord’s Table, aren’t we sharing in the blood of Christ? And when we break the bread, aren’t we sharing in the body of Christ? And though we are many, we all eat from one loaf of bread, showing that we are one body. Think about the people of Israel. Weren’t they united by eating the sacrifices at the altar? What am I trying to say? Am I saying that food offered to idols has some significance, or that idols are real gods? No, not at all. I am saying that these sacrifices are offered to demons, not to God. And I don’t want you to participate with demons. You cannot drink from the cup of the Lord and from the cup of demons, too. You cannot eat at the Lord’s Table and at the table of demons, too. What? Do we dare to rouse the Lord’s jealousy? Do you think we are stronger than he is?

Open your eyes and think about the salvation status of your children.

Tip N° 5 Reach Out For Help

Some unequally yoked Christians don’t have really hard issues to deal with coming from their non-Christian spouse. At times it’s just arguments, or being cold with each other, but this is not the case for every unequally yoked couple.
There are some unequally yoked marriages in which the non-Christian spouse:

  • Practices withcraft and tries to kill the spouse and/or the children
  • Repetitively cheats on the Christian faithful spouse
  • Repetitively practices physical and emotional abuse on their Christian spouse and children
  • Practices sexual abuse on the children
  • Performs human sacrifices on the children etc.

In any of such cases, this is a battle which isn’t meant to be fought alone.
The first thing should be to protect you and your offspring. Contact the appropriate people. Reach out to the police for protection and to your Pastor and Bible study group for prayer and support .
Don’t be an accomplice of your spouse’s evil practices, reach out to the police and seek for help.

1. Confess your sins to God2. Clothe yourself with Christ3. Stop harassing your spouse4. Train your kids to Christianity5. Reach out for help


Being unequally yoked is definitely not an easy thing. If you’re about to marry a non-Christian please don’t do it. However, if you’re already in an unequally yoked marriage, don’t lose hope. Keep your integrity as a Christian, teach your kids about Jesus, be prayerful and let The Holy Spirit perform miracles through you. I know that God is against divorce unless for infidelity, but God is not against you reaching out for help if your non-Christian spouse behaves inappropriately towards you and/or the kids.


Father Lord God Almighty, open my eyes and my heart, so that I may confess my sins to You and seek Your Help. Help me to not try to harass my spouse to change them but to instead focus on letting You change me, and transform me in the image of Jesus Christ so that through this my spouse may learn more about Jesus. Help me to be consistent in teaching The Bible to my children and leading them to salvation in Christ Jesus. Take fear away from my heart so that I boldly seek for help if/when my spouse becomes dangerous for me/the kids, in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.
Maybe you’re reading this today and you realize that you are the non-Christian spouse, you’re the one who hasn’t surrendered your life to Christ yet, and you’re making life hard for your spouse and your kids.
Or perhaps you’ve realized today that you thought that you were a real Christian but you were still living in idolatry, witchcraft and the occult, and now you see that you can’t have two masters at the same time, and you have to turn to Jesus Christ.
If you want to surrender your entire life to Jesus Christ, here’s a prayer below to do so. Say it out loud with confidence and faith.
Dear God in Heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.
I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.
You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.
Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.
Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.
Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life. AMEN.
Congratulations you are now a child of God.
Read your Bible everyday, pray to God throughout your day, direct your life according to The Bible, join a Christ-centered Church, seek to be baptized if you’re not baptized yet.

It’s Now Your Turn

What tips would you give to anyone in order to survive in an unequally yoked marriage?
Are you in an unequally yoked marriage and would you like to share about how God is working in your marriage?
Please let us know in the comments section


Click here if you’re looking for a church. I recommend Elevation Church to you. A wonderful Christ-centered Church in which you aren’t limited by your location and in which you can see what God can do through you. We’re in a new series called Gamechanger, please don’t miss out on this.
God loves you so much
God bless you
Victoria Eyog


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