Hi everyone, I hope you’re all fine by God’s grace. Today’s post is directed to anyone who feels sad and ashamed because of something which was done to him/her.
In case you are ashamed because of something which was done to you, because people lied to you and cheated on you, because people whom you trusted disappointed you, backstabbed you, and breached your trust, I believe you should decide to be comfortable with these 3 things.
1. Forgive yourself
You don’t have to condemn yourself for it. You don’t have to blame yourself for what was done to you, you shouldn’t internalize it.
The person who should be ashamed is not you, it’s them.
Take a look at this
Jeremiah 9:3‭-‬6‭, ‬8 NIV

“They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge me,” declares the Lord . “Beware of your friends; do not trust anyone in your clan. For every one of them is a deceiver, and every friend a slanderer. Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning. You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,” declares the Lord . Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully. With their mouths they all speak cordially to their neighbors, but in their hearts they set traps for them.

What they did was wrong, it’s not you who committed that sin, it’s them, so please stop blaming yourself for it and hating yourself.
Maybe you feel like you should have been more careful, more selective etc, maybe indeed you could have avoided it or maybe not, but it doesn’t change the fact that you aren’t the one who did it to yourself, it’s them, so they should be ashamed not you.
Forgive yourself for what happened.
2. God doesn’t approve of what they did
Jeremiah 9:9a NIV

“Should I not punish them for this?” declares the Lord .

Just by looking at this verse, you can clearly see that God doesn’t approve of what they did.
God hates what they did to you, the fact that they cheated on you, used you, lied to you and tried to destroy you.
Proverbs 6:16‭-‬19 NIV

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

If God hates what they did to you, If He is totally against what they did, then why do you believe that God holds you responsible for what happened? Why would He be disappointed by you because of something which was done to you, something He hates, something which you didn’t do but they did?
God isn’t mad at you for what was done to you.
It wasn’t your fault it was theirs. You didn’t take control of their bodies to force them to do anything to you, they chose to do it, they are responsible for it, they are the ones who committed that sin, not you.
Not only is God not mad at you because of what was done to you, but to Him it doesn’t change anything about you or your worth to Him, so, don’t worry God doesn’t love you any less and it doesn’t make you His kid any less.
3. Forgive them
I guess this is the most difficult part because we’ve already agreed on the fact that they were wrong, not you, and that you aren’t responsible for their sin. We’ve also highlighted the fact that God is against what they did. So, you may ask:
“Why should I forgive them if they hurt me and If they were wrong and if God knows that they were wrong?”
In fact , you may even be contemplating revenge, planning on how to hurt them if ever you have such an opportunity, or just hating them hard enough to feel like your revenge on them is performed by hating them.
Nevertheless, I’ll show you why you have to forgive them and let go of the idea of revenging.
Jeremiah 9:9b NIV

“Should I not avenge myself on such a nation as this?”

Romans 12:19 NIV

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

In other words, God is going to handle the case all by Himself. Don’t try to help Him to avenge you, He is The Judge of The Universe, He knows how to deal with it. He hates sin even more than you do, so, don’t try to handle it by yourself, let Him avenge you Himself.
Finally, it may be hard to admit it right now, but you too haven’t been perfect with God. You’ve lied, disobeyed, etc just to say that you too have sinned against God and you aren’t perfect. If God were to hold it against you forever, then you wouldn’t even exist again, but out of grace and love He forgave you through the Sacrifice of His Only Son The Lord Jesus Christ on the Cross of Calvary. This means that you should be able to give back in His Name and for His sake the same grace and forgiveness He offered you freely.
You can’t experience God’s grace and remain the same.
No matter how hard it is, ask God to grant You His forgiving heart so that you may forgive them just as He forgave you.
I’ll just suggest that you watch this sermon, titled “No more nails” from the Seven Mile Miracles series of Pastor Steven Furtick, lead pastor of Elevation Church. This sermon should help you to forgive as God forgave you.
Father Lord God Almighty, I have realized today that I am still hurt and broken because of what was done to me. Lord, help me today as I choose to forgive myself once and for all for what happened. Thank You for handling my case and for avenging me. I choose today to take a step of faith and to forgive all those who hurt me, and I pray that You may touch their hearts so that they may have a sincere and deep relationship with Jesus, in Jesus Christ’s Name I pray, Amen.
Thanks for reading.
Please tell me what you think about this post in the comments section, and feel free to share any personal experience and/or prayer requests.
You are loved.
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God bless you.


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