Hello beloved child of God, I hope you’re fine by His grace.

Today we’re going further in our battle against depression.

We’ll try to explore the origins of why we are depressed.

As said previously, anyone can feel sad during a certain time in their life. We don’t all face the same circumstances, and even if we did, we don’t all react the same way to them. So many things can be the roots of our depression. Someone can be depressed because they lost something which really mattered to them, or because they keep not achieving their goals. Many things can play a role in depression.

For this reason, we’re going to have a good number of questions which we need to answer today just to sort it out in our minds.

These questions were extracted from the book “Anxiety and Depression Workbook for Dummies” by Aaron Temkin Beck and Laura L. Smith (They are both psychologists).

Today the questions we will look at are intended to explore our emotional origins. It’s about our childhood.

The way we process information, the way we react to negative circumstances, the way we see ourselves, is greatly influenced by our childhood. I know you’ve probably heard that before.

The following questions aren’t aimed at putting the blame on your parents or on you for the way you’re feeling today. It’s just about you knowing how your childhood influenced your perception of self and what in your childhood contributes to you being depressed now.

Proverbs 22:6 KJV

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Exercise: My Emotional Origins

1. What was my mother’s personality like?

2. How did my mother discipline me?

3. Was my mother warm or cold?

4. Was she overly critical or supportive?

5. How did she spend time with me?

6. Did she suffer difficult circumstances (ex divorce, illness, military service, domestic violence, death)

7. Does anything else important about her come to my mind (positive or negative)?

8. How was my father’s personality like?

9.How did my father discipline me?

10. Was my father warm or cold?

11. Was he overly critical or supportive?

12. How did he spend time with me?

13. Did he suffer difficult circumstances (ex divorce, illness, military service, domestic violence, death)

14. Does anything else important about him come to my mind (positive or negative)?

15. What are my earliest childhood memories ?

16. Did I have siblings or other people in the home who influenced me and how?

17. What do I remember about primary school? (Was I happy, what did I thing about myself, how did I do in school, what were my friendships like, were there any important events?)

18. What do I remember about middle school? (Was I happy, what did I thing about myself, how did I do in school, what were my friendships like, were there any important events?)

19. What do I remember about high school? (Was I happy, what did I thing about myself, how did I do in school, what were my friendships like, were there any important events?)

20. What are the major events of my adulthood (ex marriage, trauma, winning the lottery)

21. What did this exercise teach me about the origins of my anxiety and depression?

Please make sure that you open your exercise book and answer all the questions above. Please do not read any further if you haven’t answered these questions. It is a very important exercise. Don’t skip it.

Now that you’ve looked into your childhood, how do you feel?

This may have brought back beautiful memories which you didn’t even know you had, but this may also have brought back painful memories.

When I finished this exercise honestly, I realized so many things about myself, about my expectations about myself and the type of expectations I thought my parents had of me, and the expectations I thought that God had towards me.

Now that you’ve finished with this exercise, I will ask one thing from you.

Our parents weren’t born with a “How to be the perfect parent” manual engraved in their brains. Our siblings weren’t born with a “how to be the perfect sibling” engraved in their brains. Our extended family members didn’t go to a school called “Perfect Training School for extended family”

This means that none of them knew exactly what was the best way to treat you and how to effectively do that. They were all learning. Some did well, and some others deeply hurt you intentionally and unintentionally, and if you have to be honest you too you hurt others.

There are emotional wounds which you created in the hearts of your parents, in the hearts of your siblings, in the hearts of people which you don’t even know about.

Anyway, we count on God’s grace. Just as He forgives us freely, we have to learn to forgive freely too.

So here we go, the thing I ask from you today is to forgive. Forgive whoever hurt you in your childhood, who ever caused trauma in you. Also forgive yourself for the times during which you didn’t meet the expectations you had for yourself or the expectations you know that God and/or your parents had for you.

Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a choice.

I know that this may be extremely difficult for you if you’ve suffered from physical and emotional abuse. Perhaps you even believe it was your fault and that’s why you have difficulties forgiving yourself. Or it could be that you sinned against God and you think you deserve to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

God wants you to forgive yourself and to forgive those who hurt you. Set yourself free.

Matthew 18:21‭-‬35 NIV

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how My heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Jesus Christ died on The Cross for your sins. Your debt is cancelled. It is now you turn to cancel out debts and to forgive, and it starts with forgiving yourself, then forgiving those who hurt you.

You can customize the prayer below.


Father Lord God Almighty King of Glory, today I have made up my mind. This is my choice. I forgive _____________ for doing _______________ to me. I forgive myself for not living up to my parents’ expectations and my own expectations. God I know that so many times I sinned against You and didn’t live up to Your standard. Please Lord forgive me and help me forgive myself knowing that the blood of Jesus Christ washed away all my sins. I forgive myself in Jesus Christ’s Name. I open my heart, my body and my mind to Your Holy Spirit for Him to heal me from all the wounds of my childhood and adulthood, in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.

It’s Now Your Turn

I hope you’ve done your exercise above, and I hope you’ve chosen to forgive

Here’s your homework for today: Pray for your parents, say thank you to God for the good things you remembered about them and pray for God’s blessings over their lives. If possible, reach out to them and tell them that you love them.

Your homework today is to subscribe to my Newsletter so as not to miss any post on depression and also, make sure to invite anyone whom you know is suffering from depression.

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Also, please consider sharing this blog post on all your social media accounts.


Click here if you’re looking for a church. I recommend Elevation Church to you. A wonderful Christ-centered Church in which you aren’t limited by your location and in which you can see what God can do through you. We’re in a series right now called ” Maybe:God ” on discerning God’s Will.

If you’ve enjoyed reading this blog post please subscribe to my Newsletter so as not to miss any new post.

Also, please consider sharing this blog post on all your social media accounts.

Thank you for reading

God bless you

Victoria Eyog


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