How To Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse In The Church

Hello beloved child of God, I hope you’re fine by God’s grace.

Today we’re going to talk about a quite sensitive topic, that of sexual abuse.

I’ll start by apologizing because I’m not an expert in this field and if you’ve experienced sexual abuse this may be such a sensitive topic that you might be offended by what I say.

Sexual Abuse happens in Christian environments too. Some people believe that because it’s church and because they are worshipping God with other people, these people can’t harm them.

Nevertheless, we know that the devil likes to infiltrate the church. This means that people can be with you at church while being servants of the devil, or while being possessed by impure spirits.

These impure spirits will make them think of ways through which they can execute their lustful thoughts through sexual touching and rape. The victims of these will usually be the people who are left alone in the closed space with the abuser.

The abuser can be anyone at church. A friend, a pastor, a youth group leader, a worship leader, a Sunday school teacher, any person in leadership, any person with whom you leave your child.

How then can you protect your child from sexual abuse in the church ?

1. Pray

Psalm 121:1‭-‬8 NIV

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord , The Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

All form of measures which you’ll take, if they’re not backed up with prayer ,they will not work.

God is Jehovah Shammah. He is ever-present. He is with your child even when you’re not around and He is The One who will protect your child from the attacks of the devil.

Through prayer God can make you discern the heart of someone and make you understand that you shouldn’t put your child under their leadership.

Once again I want to apologise to any victim of sexual abuse. I’m not trying to say that if you were abused it was because no body was praying for you.

2. Tell Your Child About Sexual Abuse

Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Some parents usually try to hide everything about sex to their kids. However, by hiding it, they don’t always protect them. When you tell your child that no one should touch them on their private parts and that they shouldn’t remain alone anywhere with someone of the opposite gender (though same gender may also abuse them), they start being alert.

Such that if they notice that a leader at church misbehaves with them or with a friend at church, they’ll reach out to you because you told them before hand.

Your children will be your best allies in protecting them against sexual abuse. For this, you have to educate them about that and build trust so that they communicate with you.

3. Ask Questions

Every day when your child reaches home ask as many questions as possible about how it was in school and at church. This communication will be such that if something weird happens at church they will tell you, but if everyday they’ve been used to communicate with you but somehow one day they start being weird and don’t want to talk, this should give you clues. Good communication is very important.

Also, you shouldn’t ask questions just to your kids, ask questions to the leaders of the church. Letter them in-person, get to know them, ask about the people who are leading your kids, ask to other parents in the church how it’s going with their kids. Through this you may find out more about the mindset of the person taking care of your kids. Also make sure you observe them. People say gossiping in the church isn’t good but more often than not you need that information about church leaders to know whom you can authorize to spend time with your kids.

4. Don’t Leave Them Alone

1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Some parents trust church people so much that they just go and drop their kids at the homes of perfect strangers because they think “this person is a child of God”.

They just abandon their kids for days with people they don’t really know and afterwards they don’t even ask how it went.

Sexual Abuse can happen at church, it can happen at the house of a church leader, it can even happen in the car of the church leader as they’re bringing your kid home.

The best thing to do is to not let your kid alone with them. This may be difficult, this may even stop your kid from attending some activities at Church, but those are important measures.

You will prefer group activities and you’ll give instructions to your child such that they know they should never be alone with a stranger. If your kids are age mates that’s great, they can even go to the toilet together so that the child won’t be alone in toilets with a potential abuser (there are cases of abuse in the church which happen in toilets when kids ministry leaders accompany kids to urinate).

5. Show Up

Some parents just abandon their kids in the hands of the “church” and never show up. They just limit contact with the church as much as possible.

At times, they don’t even go to church on Sundays, they send their kids to church but never attend.

Showing up from time to time at your kid’s activities and events in church will help you observe what’s going on. Do it as a surprise every time. If every parent did that from time to time, abusers would be scared because they would know that they can be caught at any time.

Showing up will somehow take part in dissuading the abuser from attacking your kid and others’ kids.

6. Report Cases To The Police

James 4:17 NIV

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

Ephesians 5:11 NIV

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

Some parents ignore cases of sexual abuse in the church so long as it doesn’t concern their kids. When they hear about a pastor or leader who abused a child their Idolatry for their church or pastor makes them desire to keep it secret and to not talk about it if not people will leave the church.

But once it’s their kid who’s being touched they become extremely hurt.

If you hear about a case of sexual abuse in the church, report it even if it doesn’t concern your child because if we don’t stop them today, tomorrow they’ll touch your own kids.

Also, some parents report Cases only to church leaders, and they’re surprised when they church leaders don’t report it to the police. Church leaders will almost always be biased and worried about their church reputation. As such they’ll try to keep it as private as possible because they want people to keep coming to their church. At times they’ll keep the abuser in position of leadership to prove to themselves that they know how to practice grace and forgiveness. The abuser will keep abusing because nothing would have been done to deliver him/her from those evil spirits and to protect potential victims.

If you don’t report it to the police and follow up the case till something is done legally, then you’re encouraging it to continue.

Always report to the police first before going to tell any church leader or member about it, because they will always try to discourage you out of love for the church.

Conclusion

Sexual Abuse isn’t an easy topic and the church too is a victim of that. In order to protect your kids you have to take effective measures for their own good. Also, these measures can be applied not just at church but even in school.

Prayer

Father Lord God Almighty King of Glory, I thank You for entrusting my kids, brothers and sisters to me. I thank you for You are Jehovah Shammah. You are with them wherever they are, to protect them, lead them and guide them. Lord, protect them from danger, protect them from sexual abuse, even in the church, and give me discernment and wisdom for You to use me too to protect them. In Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.

It’s Now Your Turn

Have you ever heard of a case of sexual abuse in your church? How was it dealt with? Please let us know in the comments section

Can you think of any other measures to protect your kids from sexual abuse in the church? Please let us know in the comments section.

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