5 Reasons Why You Should Not Marry A Non-Christian.   Deuteronomy 7:3‭-‬4 NIVDo not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord ’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

Hello blessed child of God, I hope you’ve had a wonderful week in the presence of The Lord.
If you know a little bit about me, then you’ve probably noticed that I’m a great romantic. I am in love with love stories which are centered around Christ Jesus.
I think I’ve come to this season of my life during which more and more of my friends and relatives are announcing that they are getting married. It’s sweet because it gives me the opportunity to hear their love stories ( I love love stories) but it also gives us the opportunity to evaluate the relationship.
Marriage is sweet, a wonderful creation of God, but marriage can only best be enjoyed if Christ is at the center.
I hear people say that what matters is the fact that you’re in love while actually it’s not what matters the most. I guess you’ll get it better if you follow along.
Before we go any further, it’s necessary to be clear about what we mean by “Christian”
A Christian is someone who accepted The Lord Jesus Christ in their life as their personal Lord and Savior, and who perseveres in the faith.
A Christian is not forcefully someone you see holding a Bible from time to time, or someone who quotes Bible verses just to their own advantage.
It’s not because you see a guy or a girl in Church every Sunday that this person is a real Christian.
1 John 4:1 NLT

Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.

It takes The Holy Spirit of God, time, discernment and understanding to know someone’s real heart and to see if they’re a fake Christian or if they are really sincere with Christ, persevering in the faith.
Now that we know what a Christian is, we can easily say that a non-Christian is anyone who is not a Christian, anyone who hasn’t surrendered their life to Jesus Christ. In this category we find:

  • Fake Christians
  • Buddhists
  • Non-Christian Jews ( I say non-christian Jews because there are some Jews who are Christians while there are others who are not)
  • Muslims
  • African traditional idolatry
  • Members of the New Age movement
  • Atheists
  • Agnostics
  • Hindus
  • Unitarian Universalist
  • Mormons (Latter Day Saints)
  • Satanists and their various sect members

I think I don’t know all the other religions. I’m sure the list is way longer, but I think that you get the point.
In this blog post I want to list a few reasons why if you’re a true Christian and you marry a non-Christian, you are setting yourself up for a big deal of pain. So, here below are 5 Reasons Why You Should Not Marry A Non-Christian

1. Marrying A Non-Christian Means Disobeying God

2 Corinthians 6:14‭-‬17 NIV

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial ? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Therefore, “Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

Even if you don’t understand why you shouldn’t marry a non-Christian, at least you know what God’s Word says about unequal yoking right?
God has always forbidden His children both in the Old Testament and in The New Testament to marry unbelievers.
Even if you don’t understand why He says it, at least if you really say you’re a Christian and you love God more than this guy or this girl you want to marry, then you’re going to give up on this person out of obedience towards God.
John 14:15 NIV

Jesus: “If you love Me, keep My commands.

Obedience requires trusting Him, even if we don’t get it all. If He said we should avoid it then avoid it. Out of obedience, out of trust and out of love for Him.

2. Your Children May Never Hear About Jesus Christ

Deuteronomy 7:3‭-‬4 NIV

Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord ’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

Imagine this scenario. You get married with a non-Christian, you have children and then something happens and you die.
Who will your children remain with ? Who will educate your children? Your non-Christian spouse.
If it is a fake Christian that’s what they’ll teach your kids. Honouring God with their lips but not with their hearts.
If it is an African traditionalist who worships African idols, that’s what this person will teach your kids in your absence.
If it is a Muslim, then your child will become a Muslim.
If it’s a satanist then your children will grow up worshiping the devil.
Is this what you want for your kids? Will you be comfortable knowing that your children may go to hell because of the bad decision you made out of “love“?
By the way, even if you’re alive, this person may take your spouse as model and follow their religion. Which means that because of your own wrong decision your kids may never hear about Jesus Christ or they may hear about Jesus Christ but never ever believe in Him.
Would you be comfortable being in Heaven and knowing that your children are in hell partly because of you?

3. You May Lose Your Faith In Christ Jesus Along The Way

The perfect story to illustrate this is found in The Bible. King Solomon was the wisest man ever on Earth, but definitely not as wise as Jesus Christ since Jesus is Wisdom Himself.
Anyhow, God granted wisdom to Solomon. He is the author of most of the book of Proverbs, he is also the author of Songs of Solomon and the book of Ecclesiastes. He wrote many wise things in The Bible, but when it came to marriage, he didn’t take wise decisions.
As a king, he didn’t obey God’s commandment for kings of Israel to not have many wives and He didn’t obey God’s commandment to not get married to unbelievers. He got married to several women and he had several concubines who came from nations where idolatry was practised. Eventually they turned his heart away from God.
1 Kings 11:1‭-‬13 NIV

King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord ; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done. On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods. The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord , the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord ’s command. So the Lord said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen.”

This looks crazy right ?
We usually believe “I’m such a strong Christian, no matter who I marry this person will not stop me from following Jesus Christ”.
Solomon was wise right? He was committed to God right? He was a prayerful man right? But it didn’t stop him from having his heart turned to idolatry because he married unbelievers.
If you really think that you want to continue being a Christian and walking in God’s ways in an undivided way, DO NOT marry a non-Christian.

4. Your Non-Christian Spouse Will Treat You According To Their False Beliefs, Not According To God’s Word

You don’t need to be a specialist of the mind to know that the feeling of love can usually go away after some time.
When you’re in the courtship phase, everyone does everything to show the very best version of themselves, but once you’re married, you see all their flaws.
It now becomes difficult to hide their temper, anger outbursts, addictions to alcohol, pornography, drugs etc.
Some things just become impossible to hide, and the more you know the person’s flaws, the less prone you are to keep loving them.
When the feeling of love leaves, the commitment of love should remain. Christians know this. We’ve been trained like this. Love is not just a feeling, it is a commitment, and it is supposed to be unconditional.
1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬8 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

You’re a Christian, you know 1 Corinthians 13, but if your spouse doesn’t know it, or knows it but doesn’t believe it, you can expect that they’ll behave with you according to the flesh and not according to God’s Holy Spirit and God’s love.

  • When you’ll argue, you may be the first to apologize and the only one to apologize all the time because humility means a lot to you as a Christian but it means nothing to them
  • When you’ll have struggles in your relationship and will be tempted to cheat or to divorce, you will not because you’ll believe that Jesus can change your marriage, but if your spouse is a non-Christian they may file for divorce or cheat on you because to them it is okay.

You won’t enter marriage with the same expectations and even if you do everything to be the best spouse ever, you may suffer a lot from your spouse not putting in any effort.
1 Peter 4:2‭-‬4 NIV

As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you.

If in their religion you are to be treated as their slave, they will treat you as such. They may not even do it intentionally, because it is in their culture, it is in them.
Just like The Spirit of God produced fruits of patience and compassion in your heart, demon spirits may be producing fruits of impatience and hatred in the heart of your spouse.
It will be a battle, a real battle of good against evil.
It is easier when both of you are Christians trying to grow in their relationship with God, because you’ll be more open to listening to God’s Holy Spirit when He will be telling you “Apologize to your spouse”, “See a Christian marital counselor”, “Show more compassion to your spouse”.
No matter how angry you are with each other, when The Holy Spirit of God will come and speak to both of you, your hearts will melt. But if you’re the only one in that marriage who listens to The Spirit of God, then the devil will always be the one moulding your spouse to destroy your marriage.

5. You Will Not Worship God Together

Do you know what this means ?

  • When you’ll want to go to Church to worship God, either you’ll go alone, or they’ll stop you from going, or you’ll go together but this person will not be worshiping God with their hearts
  • When you’ll worship God at home and read His Word, your spouse may be doing a whole different thing. You may never experience the blessedness in worshiping God with your spouse
  • Your kids will not see their parents worshiping God together, which may have an impact on how they see worship in marriage
  • Don’t expect Bible studies at home as a family because your spouse may probably just not be into it

The things of God will seem strange to your spouse, and this may frustrate you a lot to never be on the same page with them, to be unequally yoked.
I could give many more reasons but I think you’ve got the point.

1. You'll be disobeying God
2. Your children may never hear about Jesus Christ
3. You may lose your faith
 in Christ
4. They will treat you according to
their false beliefs
5. You will not worship God together
This blog post is essentially aimed at discouraging anyone who was about to marry a non-Christian, but may be today you’re not at the level of marriage, you’re just from entering college and there’s a non-Christian guy or girl you’re interested in. Don’t go any further with this person, don’t date them, because by dating them you may start loving them and being unable to take a reasonable decision.
Don’t date a non-Christian since this could make you marry a non-Christian. Don’t say “I’m going to change him” or “I’m going to change her” or “we don’t need to change we’ll remain as we are”.
You’ve seen Solomon’s story right? It can happen to you too. So out of wisdom do not date a non-Christian.
Finally, may be you read this blog post and recognized yourself in every single sentence because you married a non-Christian, may be it’s unbearable for you and you don’t know what to do now. Perhaps people tried to warn you but you didn’t listen to them, and you’re now heavily suffering in your marriage.
Here’s what I have for you today.
You’re exactly where God wants you to be and there’s more to your story. There is no mistake that God can not redeem for the Glory of His Name. If you’ve already made this mistake, don’t be desperate, God can do something awesome for you. Put all your hope in Jesus Christ, nothing is impossible for Him. There is still hope if you place your faith in Him.
In our next post, next week God-willing we’ll talk about how to survive in an unequally yoked marriage.


Father Lord God Almighty, thank You for Your Word which You’ve made available for me so that I may make the right choices. God search my heart and my relationships. If I’m dating a non-Christian please help me to end this relationship in a way which glorifies Your name, and help this person to hear about Jesus Christ. If I’m in a courtship with a non-Christian and I’m not aware yet that this is a non-Christian, Lord please open my eyes and give me courage to give up on the relationship. Father, help me have constructive conversations with people before envisaging marriage, so that I may know more about their relationship with Jesus Christ. Help me make the right choices in obedience to You. If I’m already married to a non-Christian Lord please make this work together for my good, save my spouse and redeem my situation in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.

It’s Now Your Turn

Are there any other disadvantages to marrying an unbeliever which I didn’t mention? Please let me know in the comments section.
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Click here if you’re looking for a church. I recommend Elevation Church to you. A wonderful Christ-centered Church in which you aren’t limited by your location and in which you can see what God can do through you. We’re starting a new series next week called Gamechanger, please don’t miss out on this.
God loves you so much
God bless you
Victoria Eyog

1 Comment

5 Tips To Survive In An Unequally Yoked Marriage – MISSION FOR JESUS · November 5, 2018 at 2:48 am

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